You're trying too hard....

You're trying too hard to be one thing but want to be another thing. Like I wanted to do really well in chemistry but honest to god I really want to own a restaurant where you can have a drink and have fun as soon as you step through. It's funny coz I feel like I'm in a better stage in my life right now than I did when i last saw you. I started seeing this guy while I was stil seein josh (enough said). And then josh and I ended our relationship permanently. We're still friends but it's a bit awkward. So I had no 'me' time so to speak after the break up coz the other guy and I are still seeing each other, and talking about housewife bangers. It's just a casual sex thing. I mean i don't think we'd even be friends if he wasn't attracted to me physically.

I found this great quote on a fashion postcard:"Life isn't about Finding yourself, It is about Creating yourself." Which is so so true. I don't know why you think you have to 'find' whatever it is that will complete you because you create yourself. It's like my mantra now. Caitlin's mantra is that "I could be hit by a bus tomorrow." Which as we're both living in brisbane is actually a possible scenario. Darling I know you'll end up travelling the world no matter what state your life is in. You've just reached the limit of what Vila can offer you in terms of the people and the culture and the social life. That's why people travel; so that they can keep learning, stimulate their brain, gain new experiences, learn to trust themselves and their own judgement, meet people to learn acceptance, respect, patience, friendship and tolerance.

looks.. constant, neverending battle for me.. its the one thing that i cant seem to get over.. i hope that ill eventually be happy with the way i look but it can really get to me.. if i look shit then i feel shit.. my appearence dictates how i feel.. im so superficial.. it is so fucking pathetic.. apparently you only live once.. (i dont believe that personally but if thats the case, i want to make a good go of this life.) so live life to its fullest!

I know you seem to be at a crossroads in your life right now. Actually you're more like in the ditch on the side of the road with a flat tyre; you've got a spare tyre but you have no fucking tools to change the stupid tyre. Well, Kate is now a 15-minute walk away from my house coz she's living only a few streets away. I feel heaps better now that I've got one of my oldest and closest friends around. She was living on my floor for a month before she found a place to live in and we now call each other WIFE. Apparently I'm the Mail-Order Asian bride.